Monday, August 15, 2016

Eye Awakening

This morning after my 5 mile run, I sat inside of Cincinnati's children's hospital outpatient center. The waiting room was packed. All different kids, all different ages. Some were happy, while others looked emotionaless. But they all had one thing in common with each other. Sick. Not as sick as gross, or sick as in a head cold. No sick, as my parents don't know how much longer I'm going to be with them or how much longer they can handle all these blood test, ultra sounds, X-rays and treatments

It truly is an eye awakening to realize what might seem like a mountain to you, is just an ant hill to others. For me, being anemic and pancytopenia seemed like the end of the world. I have to watch my blood levels and make sure I'm not feeling to tired.. But to others, some would give up another limb just to be anemic. Just to go for a blood test every other month, just to be able to take a pill and everything will be over. I'm able to go to school, hang out with my friends on the weekend; I might feel tired or dizzy, but I'm always able to go home to my bed. Some of these kids don't go home. This is their lives. They're excited when they're able to leave, when they get to go out to eat, just things that seem so basic for us. You never think walking into a doctors office that you'll be there for the rest of the month, or even your life. You just don't think about that stuff.

You never think about how your body can drastically change. How one day your bone marrow can just be like, "hm.. Today I've had enough I'm just going to slow down." You don't think about that. You don't think "Hey you know this bruise on my leg, well it's going to drastically change my life." We are so used to being healthy, that we don't think about the "what ifs," people ALWAYS claim that "it won't happen to me." But life has such a funny way of saying "yes it will!!" We are so used to be healthy, and don't realize that it is such a blessing. We don't realize that those sick kids, patients, and adults had a normal life before. They didn't ask for a life in hospital, when they were born their parents didn't say, "Oh! I can't wait for her cells to mass reproduce!" 

I didn't think about it, until today. I know I should be thankful that I'm only a blood disorder that is curable, but that doesn't mean I always am. I don't consistently think about how lucky I am that it's just a simple pill I take, not chemotherapy. So if you reading this, maybe just take time to be thankful for your healthy, or think about those who aren't as blessed. 

With love, 

Saturday, August 13, 2016

A Letter to My Friends as We Start Senior Year..

Currently, I am eating a box of starburst and constantly checking a group message that contains 12 of my closet girlfriends. I'm all ready to go out for the night while they still debate the driving situation, either way I'm driving because I'll be heading home at curfew (I'm totally a homebody, I love sleeping in my bed.) Maybe they realize this or not, but it's our first weekend of senior year. First out of around 40ish. I'm still in shock that this is seriously my last year spent with the girls who've I've spent every waking moment with since freshman year. I'm ovbiously ready for college and to start over, but I defiantly am not ready to leave my best friends (even if they are being super annoying right now...)

That's why I want them to know..

Wherever we go, no matter how far or close, they will always hold a special place in my heart. No matter how many new girl friends I meet, or if I find the love of my life, they will still be with me. Whenever White Iverson comes around or I see a giraffe, I know I will always think of them. We have to many memories to forget..

I'm thankful I had not one, but 12 shoulders to cry on. We might have had our fights and our ups and downs, but we are always there for each other, no matter what. I will always support them, even if it going into the military, or just committing to play for a d3 school. I will always be a proud little mom of theirs :,)

I'm excited for our adventures this year! Senior spring break, new boys, how exciting! But really.. I'm pumped! Last year was just the beginning of fun, and this year will truly go down in history as one of the best and I'm glad I get to spend it with the 12 girls I've made the most memories with. I can't wait to take so many cute pics that I'll get to hang up in my college dorm!

4 days down- 199 more to go (including weekends)
With love,