Monday, August 15, 2016

Eye Awakening

This morning after my 5 mile run, I sat inside of Cincinnati's children's hospital outpatient center. The waiting room was packed. All different kids, all different ages. Some were happy, while others looked emotionaless. But they all had one thing in common with each other. Sick. Not as sick as gross, or sick as in a head cold. No sick, as my parents don't know how much longer I'm going to be with them or how much longer they can handle all these blood test, ultra sounds, X-rays and treatments

It truly is an eye awakening to realize what might seem like a mountain to you, is just an ant hill to others. For me, being anemic and pancytopenia seemed like the end of the world. I have to watch my blood levels and make sure I'm not feeling to tired.. But to others, some would give up another limb just to be anemic. Just to go for a blood test every other month, just to be able to take a pill and everything will be over. I'm able to go to school, hang out with my friends on the weekend; I might feel tired or dizzy, but I'm always able to go home to my bed. Some of these kids don't go home. This is their lives. They're excited when they're able to leave, when they get to go out to eat, just things that seem so basic for us. You never think walking into a doctors office that you'll be there for the rest of the month, or even your life. You just don't think about that stuff.

You never think about how your body can drastically change. How one day your bone marrow can just be like, "hm.. Today I've had enough I'm just going to slow down." You don't think about that. You don't think "Hey you know this bruise on my leg, well it's going to drastically change my life." We are so used to being healthy, that we don't think about the "what ifs," people ALWAYS claim that "it won't happen to me." But life has such a funny way of saying "yes it will!!" We are so used to be healthy, and don't realize that it is such a blessing. We don't realize that those sick kids, patients, and adults had a normal life before. They didn't ask for a life in hospital, when they were born their parents didn't say, "Oh! I can't wait for her cells to mass reproduce!" 

I didn't think about it, until today. I know I should be thankful that I'm only a blood disorder that is curable, but that doesn't mean I always am. I don't consistently think about how lucky I am that it's just a simple pill I take, not chemotherapy. So if you reading this, maybe just take time to be thankful for your healthy, or think about those who aren't as blessed. 

With love,